Thursday, August 21, 2008

Simers on Manny

LAT columnist T.J. Simers' usual approach is to insult, bait and pester Dodger players, hoping against hope that they'll spout off in anger so that he can print a juicy quote and follow it up with his "man, what's his problem?" shtick. Which makes this relative love letter to Manny Ramirez all the more surprising. I suppose it's still the honeymoon period and that the torpedo piece will come if and when the Dodgers fall a few more games behind Arizona. It may be difficult because Manny's seeming immunity to the passions and motivations which drive most athletes will make it harder for Simers to get a rise out of the guy, but Simers is a pro, and I think he's up to the challenge.

Anyway, a neat idea came to me while reading this. Manny, as he has in the past, made a joke about there not being a bathroom near left field like there was in Fenway ("I love this place," he says. "Just wish they had a different wall out there so I could go in there and [go to the bathroom]"). If I owned the Dodgers, I'd install a porta-potty behind the wall in dead center and deck it out with big signs and flashing lights and stuff marking it as "MannyLand." They could make a contest out of it in which fans guess which inning Manny will pee, or they could do a tie-in with some prostate cancer charity or something. It'd be great, wouldn't it?

In other news, I've sent my resume to multiple Major League teams and, for some reason, none of them have responded. Huh.

8 comments:

tadthebad said...

The comings and goings of Manny's lower digestive track and/or renal system... wow. So you say no one's called you...

Craig Calcaterra said...

Shocking. I know. And I haven't even mentioned my Manny towel night promotion . . .

tadthebad said...

I'm afraid to ask...

Craig Calcaterra said...

No need to ask!

http://www.portfolio.com/views/columns/the-windup/2008/07/25/Manny-Ramirez-and-Red-Sox

Michael said...

You know when a player is a true superstar when we read several articles talking about his bladder.

I'm pretty sure that if Jack Wilson had to pee, no one would give a damn.

Daniel said...

Manny Towel Night probably beats Manny Urinal Cake night.

drpaisley said...

Bill Veeck would have been all over that idea, complete with midget attendant.

Craig Calcaterra said...

I was thinking more like a trained monkey in a bellhop's uniform, but a midget could work too.