Monday, November 24, 2008

The Church of Baseball > Kabbalah

Trouble in paradise:
Madonna is reportedly furious Alex Rodriguez dropped out of Kabbalah training because he was "bored". The 50-year-old singer - whose divorce from Guy Ritchie was granted last week - has so far failed in her attempts to get her rumoured boyfriend Alex to share her interest in Kabbalah, a mystical off-shoot of Judaism . . . "This is certainly off-putting to Madonna. She did drag Guy into Kabbalah, she's doing the same now with Alex. But he's bored. He's basically a Kabbalah school dropout."
Sources indicate that the problem stems from the fact that the Kabbalah classes began in October, and that's really not A-Rod's best month.

12 comments:

mooseinohio said...

I still cannot figure out the attraction to Madonna unless he is just trying to live out some boyhood fantasy. Yet another reason Jeter is better than A-rod as six Maxim 100 beats out one aging pop star easily.

Craig Calcaterra said...

I have an advanced degree in half-assed armchair psychology, so I am not afraid to say that half of the explanation is that boyhood fantasy thing. A-Rod was 13 years-old when the Like a Prayer album dropped, and Madonna was perhaps at her peak in those days. You do the math.

The other half is probably a reaction to an unsuccessful marriage to a woman who wasn't thought of as career-oriented. Say what you will about Madonna, but no one has ever accused her of riding anyone's coattails.

Mostly, though, I just get the impression that 85% of the non-baseball stuff in A-Rod's mind is fairly scary. When his career is over, I expect a sharp descent into Howard Hughes/Michael Jackson level weirdness.

mooseinohio said...

Hopefully without the Jesus juice, sleep overs and monkey petting (pun intended). I can deal with folks becoming eccentric, its the Pee Wee Herman creepy stuff that get to me.

I would agree with your arm chair diagnosis as I still get a little giddy when I hear that Jacqueline Smith or Lynda Carter will be on a tv show.

Mark said...

Well, score one for A-Rod, I guess. Anyone who finds a nutty religious cult too boring to bother with can't be all bad, right?

Craig Calcaterra said...

I dunno, Mark. Maybe it wasn't nutty enough! My understanding is that Kabbalah requires some understanding of Judaism, and perhaps that's the traditional and boring part he doesn't like.

Maybe he's looking for something that goes straight to the spaceships and stuff.

Pete Toms said...

Can A-Rod spell kabbalah?

Jason @ IIATMS said...

Maybe he just got sick of waking up next to those sinewy arms and man-hands and gave it the tried-and-true "it's not you, it's me" heisman push off.

Jason @ IIATMS said...

Is Kabbalah spelled with a backwards K? if so, ARod could spell it.

Mark said...

The snark! It burns!

Personally, I think A-Rod had an image of Madonna from back in the day when she was, you know, really hot. Then he met the "today" Madonna, where clearly she has had some tragic accident that necessitated some cosmetic surgery to repair, and is currently having second thoughts. The rejection of Kabbalah is merely his passive-aggressive way of getting her to dump him so he can avoid being the bad guy.

Ron Rollins said...

I think he's waiting on the day Britney joins them.

Now that will be sad and pathetic.

Richard Dansky said...

Just you wait until Madonna replaces the Yankees' shortstop with a golem, a lumbering creature of clay that cannot go to its left! Then A-Rod will see the true power of Kabbalah!

What's that? You say they've already got one just like that?

Oy.

Anonymous said...

I think Madonna saw this:

www.dovabramson.com/field_of_life